Today we were supposed to sort out the mass of clothes The Popster has managed to already grow out of - see photo below. Before she was even born she owned more clothes than me and Jon combined and definitely more than most high st charity shops. The mound of clothes was monumental - we considered buying a new house. Just for her clothes. The main reason we had so many was due to two very generous couples. The same reason I had more maternity clothes than normal clothes - never has my wardrobe been so crammed. I couldn't cope - how do you keep things tidy when your wardrobe and drawers are bulging? How do shopaholics cope? Where do they put it all?
Anyway, I digress. Two very generous couples gave us sack loads of clothes for The Popster. All girls clothes. At the time of the donations we did not know what gender The Popster was going to be. At that stage The Popster was The Ricicle - a genderless lifeform with no need of clothes. If The Popster ended up being a boy we would be hiring a van to take all the girls clothes to a charity shop - or maybe we could have clothed all the girl babies of Africa? Actually, to be fair. There were a lot of unisex clothes. My brother and sister-in-law included in their gigantic sack of cast-offs 32 white baby grows and around 40 white vests. Surely that alone is enough clothes? It would be pretty boring, The Popster would wear white every single day for a few months, but we could just say she was making some kind of fashion statement. She wouldn't care. She had bigger things to consider than the colour of her clothes.
So pre-birth she had a ridiculous amount of clothes. More than more than enough, plenty, an abundance, many many, a plethora etc etc. And then she was born, and the delivery men did come. Day after day after day. It was so exciting, every single day, excluding Sundays, for three weeks at least one parcel was delivered for The Popster and most contained more clothes. First of all I have to say thank you to every one for knowing me well. We did a pretty good job of avoiding pink. The worst culprit for the pink was my mum - thanks mum, glad you know me so well!! Just because you're a girl it doesn't me everything you wear should be pink. Other colours exist. I haven't eliminated pink completely from The Popsters wardrobe - I've even bought some myself, but it has to be the right kind of pink and not too much. Anyway, pre-birth many many clothes. Post birth many many more.
When you have that many clothes you have to work hard at rotating it so that everything does get at least one wear. People were so generous I wanted to make sure she wore everything but it was tricky. It is so eay to just put your favourites on her again and again. I set up a system to ensure good rotation and I reckon I did a pretty good job, but there were some that didn't make it into the final line-up. With that amount of clothes it was easy to miss things. Sometimes I would pray that she would poo herself and have it leak as I needed to change her. One set of clothes in a day was not going to cut it. We needed to up that change rate to get through them all. Five outfit changes for Lady GaGa at the Grammy's? Pah!! Pathetic, The Popster could do 8 changes in a day.
Having such a vast amount of clothes from a variety of sources meant I became a bit of an expert - as I'm sure all mums are. Actually, not such a baby clothes expert, more a Mama & Papa's hater! Mama's & Papa's are a bit like DFS. The sofas in DFS, (Hurry - their sale is due to end soon!), look really nice, but are probably the most uncomfortable things to sit on ever. What is the purpose of a sofa? Is it to look nice or is it to be a nice comfy place to park your bum? Ding, ding, yes you're right, it is to be comfortable. Mama's & Papa's sell baby clothes. That means babies are going to wear them. They do everything in their power to make them as awkward as possible to put onto babies. A lot of the time when I'm dressing The Popster, she is crying, often even screaming, (I don't know why she hates getting dressed). Speed is what you need when it comes to dressing or undressing a baby - something Mama's & Papa's idiot designers do not understand. The other thing they don't understand is that new born babies aren't great fans of being put face down and pushed into the floor. Funny that.
So what do the M&P idiots do wrong?
1. They make babygro's that button at the back.
2. The poppers they use are very small and difficult to "pop"
3. They don't always use poppers, deciding fiddly little buttons would be better
And they do all this for you at prices far higher than anyone else. The one thing they do right is the clothes definitely look good. If you want a fashionable baby then shop at Mama's & Papa's. If you want to give money to idiots, then shop at Mama's & Papa's. How on earth did they decide buttons at the back was a good idea? Did they ever try it out on a real live baby? Did that baby stay alive for long? I tried it once, but after hearing The Popsters muffled screams and having flashbacks of every single pillow suffacating murder scene from film and TV I decided to never try it again.
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